YES the crabs. If there was one thing that I could go back in time to tell myself at the start my entrepreneur journey it would be this: “beware of the crabs.” Let me explain, growing up everyone told me to chase my dreams, dream big, you can do anything and it’s all rainbows and unicorns until you actually start taking the first steps to chase your dreams. THEN suddenly you hear things like;
“oooh are you sure, Shanna?”
“You know people don’t make any money doing that”
“Why don’t you get a real job”
“Didn’t you go to school for marketing? Can’t you find a job doing that?”
“Who’s going to pay your health insurance?”
“Oooh that’s a big responsibility”
“You just have to stick it out so you get that retirement”
“I think maybe you need to be a little more realistic, get one foot back on the ground”
I was a little confused when I first starting hearing these comments because they were coming from close friends and family members. Most of them were the same people that were encouraging me to chase my dreams in the first place. WHAT? Why all of the sudden is this a problem?
Here’s what I learned and what I want to share with you. Their opinions are a reflection of their beliefs, fears and realities, not mine. I let it hold me back for a while because deep down I was scared to death and full of self doubt too. Aligning myself with their “concerns” was a more convenient way to excuse myself from taking action and facing my fears. The thing that’s hard about this is that they come from a place of love. It sounds like love and feels like comfort, but it’s fear. AND it’s not your fear its theirs.
Let me tell you about the crabs to illustrate. Did you know you can catch crabs with an open basket? Fisherman can put bait at the bottom of an open basket, the crabs will climb in one by one to get the bait. Once the bait is gone and the basket is full of crabs they will not leave it. WHY? Because when one or two try to escape the rest of the crabs will pinch and pull at them to hold them there. They get so set on keeping every crab in there with them, they will actually use their pitchers to rip off legs if they have to.
EEEK! I sure hope your family and friends aren’t ripping off your limbs to keep you in the place they believe you should stay. But this in some shape or form will happen to you if you decide to challenge the status que and chase your dream. Essentially what’s happening here is you chasing your dream takes all the justifications off the table for them. Their excuses are not longer valid. You moving on your dreams reminds them of how they aren’t moving on theirs and that is scary. And vulnerable. And humbling. And super uncomfortable if they have been holding on to their fears for a lifetime. It’s not even if you succeed or not, just the fact that you took action is enough to prove that they could too but are choosing not to.
People don’t like it when you call out their bluffs with your actions. Really don’t like it. They would rather you stay in your box, work your job, complain about M-F, hate your boss and and fight with your husband. When you play that role, you give them permission to play victim. When you take action you blow their cover.
Here’s what I want you to know. It’s okay, do it anyway. Give them grace, love on them, encourage them to join you, but don’t you dare burry your dreams to make them feel comfortable. Dimming your light because it’s shinning in their eyes is the worst thing you could do for them, you and everyone else in the world who is waiting for you to step into your destiny. If you got a few crabs in your life, you are on the right track. That means you are doing something different. You have a unique mission to tackle while you are here on the planet, stop trying to be like everyone else. Escape that basket so you can help others escape too.
Here’s Video Recap If you would prefer to watch: Beware of the Crabs
Thank you for reading! Hope it adds value to you.